Restive State

Preface
So much has happened since the last time I posted. Life has changed enormously and in so many different ways. While we always wanted to move back to Portland, it was never supposed to be in this particular fashion. We were supposed to be here waiting for the birth of our child, me with a job and working and the two of us in a happy blissful state.

Nice dream.

The reality is far from that.

The Reason
We lost our little angel on August 18th after 8 wonderful days of having her with us. We never got to hold her, or hear her cry, or do all those things that parents should be able to do. She spent her life inside an isolette, with lines running into her little body and a machine helping her breathe. She fought from the start, always trying to prove the doctors and the statistics wrong. She showed us how strong she was when she moved and squirmed, when she sucked on her endotracheal tube, when she held on to our fingers in a totally natural way. She touched so many lives in her short time in this life. There were many special moments that we will remember and cherish forever. We still have pictures and memories to keep her in our thoughts for as long as we live. After we lost Jonas, we believed that this could not happen again and our Mia Rose was part of the healing process after losing Jonas and now she has gone as well. We have two little angels to look after us now.

The Move
So after Mia left us, there was no reason to stay in Arizona. Why stay in a state that where we lost two children? With no jobs, no place to live, hardly any money but the help of our family, we left. Yes, we were running away from things that we could not really expect to escape from, but it made sense, at least in an irrational way. Linda left first, flying to Seattle as she was in no shape to make the long drive from Arizona. After cramming as much of our life into a rental truck that we could (pictures to come), my dad and I hit the road. Two days later we pulled into Portland. As luck would have it, we had a place to live, and people to help us unload. So here we were. Made it to Portland, had a place to live, still umemployed, still broke, not pregnant and trying to assimilate the shock of moving from a small town to a large city.