Restive State

So here it is, the end is near.

Nursing school, that is. Now I have to try to find a job. Right. Simple. There's a nursing shortage right?

Mainly due to my lack of self-confidence, I'm having a hard time feeling that anything will generate out of the applications I've already submitted and hence a further feeling of futility to submit more. To make matters worse, the rest of the family is hoping, no, depending on me getting a job in the NW so we all can escape exile in this state. It freaks me out. Then to think about moving, getting a new place, shipping the Bug, moving, packing, graduating, turning 30, moving, getting a new job, going somewhere new...it all makes me a bit, well, insomic (is that even a word?).

So I stay up, until I can't keep my eyes open, watching TV, palying Fable, stumbling over the Web, all in a desperate attempt to somehow subvert my fears and calm my anxious brain. Only problem is that it makes me tired and grumpy the next day.
Bitching about it only clears my mind for a moment, so I'll stop now and enjoy the clarity.

'Til later...