Restive State

Not Keystone, rather Capstone.
And what is it? Call it a senior project/internship/preceptorship, whatever. It is 3 weeks working as a nurse (although with one following your every move...), not getting paid, but still reaping the benfits of the experience. Granted, as I have been doing my externship since May (for which I do get paid for), it's not all that foreign for me to pull 12 hour shifts. In fact, I have grown to love them. 8 hours hifts are so, well, short. I feel like I'm just about hitting my stride, or at least my functioning level of competence by about hour 5. With a 12 you've got a long time to make up for any "issues" you may have had previously. With 8, you're almost gone. Anyways, I digress.

Right now, I'm counting my lucky stars. First, I get to stay in town. The other options meant at least a 1.5 hour drive each way, if not more. Second, it's atthe hospital where I work (which is a given that there is only one around.) Third, I drew the ED. At night. Probably weekends. I'm going to see so much crazy shit, I won't be able to get it out of my head. And for that I'm grateful. Sure, I would have rather it been in the day. But I'm getting the witching hour...oh the joy and the horror.

I don't start until the end of the month, but I'm sure there will be grisly stories to share.

And speaking of grisly stories, I'm not even going to talk about this week's test. That whistling sound you heard? Yeah, that was my grade dive-bombing into a fiery blaze of glory. Not a pretty test. Hopefully Wednesday we'll find out exactly what went wrong.

'Til later...

I'm no crazy cat person, but this guy keeps me in line. He also wakes me up in the middle of the night and generally wreaks havoc. As you can see, he is both an airplane fanatic and a user if iTunes.

In this light I think briefly of our governments' monitoring of our personal electronic communication. Big up to Google for not complying with the DOJ's request for a weeks worth of search requests. I can't believe that we live in the "Land of the Free" but have many of our moves watched, recorded and filed. I'm not of the tinfoil hat brigade, but I do worry. What use is it of the Fed's the sites I go to (no kiddie porn, no Islamic fundamentalist, no bomb-making; stuff about organization, pictures of my family, my art and my career.) Granted now, I'm probably on the list. But it goes to show that there is something fundamentally wrong with our country. Just something to chew on.

'Til later...

Finally, after months of waiting, the snow has returned.
Only problem is that it is gone already. To me, this is not a problem. In fact, I've been loving this. Sure it's been chilly, but the lack of snow has really boosted my spirits. My you may ask? Let me count the ways:

• not having to dig my car out from under tons of snow to get to work in the morning.
• not freezing on my way to work, or having to use my glove and the 12volt plug-in heater as defrost (yes, that is my daily driver above...)
• no mud tracked into the house, and no mud to destroy the white shoes I have to wear to clinical.

and last but not least by any measure:

• no tourists

Many people here in town survive off of tourist dollars and love for them to come and spend their money in our town. But I have grown to loathe them. They flock into the stores, into the restaurants, allow for the gas stations to hike the prices due to "demand", drive like idiots in the snow, and generally cause havoc for the locals. The worst sin though is entitlement. They act like we are here to serve and be at their beck and call, just because they deign to grace our town with their presence. For example, last winter, my wife and I, laong with another couple decide to go out for dinner on a Saturday night. Bad idea. I realy think we were the only ones besides the staff in our local zip code in the joint. As we are standing there waiting, little brat from the Valley with parents stride into the join with attitude full-on. Looking at the crowd, little brat goes, "Didn't you make reservations dfad? I don't feel like standing around waiting." Of course, they got a table before us...
Yes, I'm a little bitter about it, but I can admit it, and that is always the first step.

On the lighter side though, I started my new position at work and absolutely love it. 5 hours goes by like nothing else and when you don't have to talk to stupid people, it makes it even better.

School starts this week. I can't decide if I'm excited or scared sh*tless. It is the last semester and I'm a little feaked out. I know what I want to do, where I want to work, but I still have to pass the last set of classes (Advanced Nursing Concepts and Microbiology) and the NCLEX. It's a daunting load to have to deal with, but somehow I'll make it...I hope.

Til later...

Not forgotten, just left behind by progress. Twin Arrows sits next to I-40 as it traverses northern Arizona, a relic of the old Route 66 days left to disintegrate and fade into memory.

Future-casting, like meteorology, is one of those fields that you can guess at generalized trends and point to nebulous predictions and claim you're right. I've never said that I know what the future holds, nor do I want to. Sure, I have hopes and fears about what the next year brings, but I'll never put it out there on the line. Some do, and some make a ton of cash doing it. The reason I bring this up was that I was reading the paper the other day at work and came across this little tidbit:

What's Next:
Classic Rock. The "Top Trends 2006" report from the Trends Research Institute...says young listeners are revolting against the hit machine. Institute director Gerald Celente says this generation is finding "heroes in Lennon and Dylan. This is a first in American history."via Arizona Republic

I'm sorry, but this is news? I've been listening to both of these guys since I was in high school and there were always many who did as well. It is a natural progression to find out what music is all about. I have a theory on progression of musical taste and interests, that based on this, really holds some water.

First, because it is readily available, and it pisses off your parents, you start out by listening to Top 40 style music. Today it's all about TRL, American Idol and Clear Channel molding and shaping to tastes of youth, but it's not really that far of a departure from how I started, just packaged differently. I started with Top 40 in the wasteland of the early to mid-80s. This gets modified as you adopt one particular style of music that really grates on your parents, but still is a popular genre. For me that was hip hop, early NWA, 2 Live Crew and yes, Vanilla Ice (so I was a loser, everyone else liked him...for a moment). Then I began to branch out, explore more types of music and thanks to a vibrant music scene, found music I liked even better, while still retaining some of the pop culture DNA in my taste. Then, I found classic rock. Hendrix, the Doors, the Beatles, Dylan, Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin and more. My journey into music caused me to look for the roots of what I liked and drove others to do the same. So this has always been done, maybe not on a scale predicted by the researchers, but there nonetheless. I've taken this even farther, getting into American roots and folk music, going way back and enjoying every minute of it.

The thing that I noticed as I perused the Institute's publications is that they all share a "well, d'uh" attitutde to me. Maybe it's just that I read entirely way too much, or that the things they bring up are concerns for me as well, but none of it is really earth-shattering. You can read the public sample here. While the journal is intended to provide large corporations the "hip" cool-hunting edge into the American psyche, it's not really all that revolutionary. Those on the bleeding-edge of culture are already beyond these trends. They're geared toward middle American values and mores, which is more of the population than some would like to admit. BUt it's still interesting to read and laugh at.

'Til later...

It was a truly eventful holiday season, so much so that I haven't had a chance to write anything about it. Suffice to say the picture above just about sums it up. We spent Christmas at the in-laws. The day before we got there, the TV broke. I'm not a huge TV person, but it is nice to have it around. But it was broke adn the girls nearly had a fit. So we did what all goo red-necks do: put the working TV on top of the disabled TV... I really feel like part of the family, they even fight in front of me. But I did spend most of the weekend performing tech support for bot my father and sister in-law. I guess that goes with the territory. I keep thinking I need to start charging for that... Like I said though, it was great. For once, I totally surprised my wife with her gifts. She was not expecting what she received adn she loved every one. Finally, I've learned how to do this.

But it was good. Along with millions of other people this year, I too unwrapped an iPod (the 512 Shuffle) and absolutely love it. I won't go on about it, because it has already been written, but this was rather funny: "iPod Shuffle Voted White Trash King". The confirming factor of that was that Wal-Mart was basically sold out of every iPod accessory they had, except a couple of iTrips and iTunes cards, (now remember this particular Wal-Mart is in red-neck country). I keep joking with my wife that we need to stop resisting, put a car on blocks in the yard, start dressing up in wife-beaters, knock out a couple of teeth and move into a single-wide. For some reason it just doesn't appeal to her and I don't know why...

And like this kid (who may or not be real), I didn't get an XBOX 360 either. Which suits me just fine, I have enough to do without plunking myself in front of it for the rest of Spring Semester.

And speaking of Spring Semester, I only have 1 more left. That's right, in about 18 weeks, yours truly will have to ability to test for his license. It scares the hell out of me, but I know that it will be a good thing. There's just a couple more hurdles to jump through, like Microbiology and Advanced Med-Surg Nursing and of course my senior "project", Capstone. But as the saying goes, I've made it this far already, now is not the time to start slacking. Today I've been consumed with getting things ready, getting into classes and making plans for the end fo school, all the while freaking out about whether or not I'm good enough to get into what I want to get into. So much for self-confidnence, eh?

But a word about New Years. We live in a small town in Northern Arizona. Not particularly small, but small by my standards. For New Years, we drop a Pine Cone. Yes, a Pine Cone. I'm not making this up. They hang it off of one of the old hotels in downtown with an LED sign counting down to New Years, and it drops just like the Ball in Times Square. Of course at about midnight +2 minutes, they hoist it back up, ruining the illusion. But it is fun, cram hundreds of people, many of them very drunk, on a cold night into a public area and call it a party. Hilarity ensues. People started yelling and screaming 10 minutes before midnight, in a bout of prematurity. The bars emptied and we became close friends with many stranggers in the mad press of humanity that flooded the streets. This year we couldn't even count right, as the crowd was totally off from the clock, but corrected itself at about 4 seconds before. So another year ended in the same way it began, loudly, racously and with great fanfare. Here's to a better year!

'Til later...

Thought it was about time to change from dark to light, so as to quote the Beastie Boys, "Dark is not the opposite of light, merely the abscence of Light."

Will be back soon with new stuff...just got back from the holidays so there's lots to do, only not enough time to do it.

'Til later...

That's right, finished. The last Final is in the bag, at least for this semester that is.

The wife and I went out to find our Christmas Tree today. Yeah, I know, stupid move. As I have come to learn living in a small mountain town, if you don't go early, don't count on getting the selection you thought you should get. But being infected with a bit of holiday cheer and a sense of community we decided to give a local nursery a try in selecting our tree. Having driven past the previous night, we saw that they had a decent selection with prices to match.
As we pulled into the lot this afternoon however, our disappointment began to grow. Either the selection had magically disappeared overnight, or we had been mistaken. After walking around, being shocked by the prices and not at all pleased about the trees themselves (which looked like they had been cut weeks ago and were being kept alive by the barest of measures), we left. We said, "It's ok, maybe it's like this everywhere." Not a chance.

Next stop, Home Depot. Their trees were even more dismal, many of them still wrapped up from transport. And their prices, while better were still a ways from where we wanted to be, especially when you considered the state and quality of the trees. After wracking our brains, we realized our only hope on the rapidly darkening evening was Wal-Mart.

Yes, the leveler of small local businesses, the scourge of low prices and just about the only place still open that might carry trees. So we went in to see. And there it was, the only thing lacking from the moment was an angelic choir and a light shining from the heavens when my wife exclaimed, "That's it, that's the one!" So we took it home, decorated it and captured the moment on film. Of course, being a town full of moron and jerks, while my wife was waiting with the tree in hand for me to pull the car around, some jerk-off pulled up right in front of her, blocking easy access to the car, when there was plenty of extra room just 10 feet down the curb for him to move. But like I said, it's life in a small town.

I think the moral of the story today is thus: even when infected with holiday sheer and good intentions of supporting locally owned business, unless you get there first, you're out of luck. But yes, had we found a tree that we liked at the local place we would not have bought it, y'know why? Because it was $15 more than either Home Depot or Wal-Mart. That's dinner money right there...

That's what it looked like this morning. Tuesday on my way to clinicals is was 8 degrees outside, before wind-chill. Now we're not as cold as Denver (clocking in at -15 today), but this is Arizona. But at least there's no snow...yet.

An update to stupid people...
The day after I wrote about stupid people and mail order, I found more fodder to illustrate the inanity of people in our world.
With all of our mailers come envelopes that postage is paid by the company. You don;t have to spend a dime to send us anything. But what really freaks me out is what people will send back in those envelopes besides their orders. In the last week, I have received coupons from Washington DC, coupons from JC Penny, a brochure for a credit card and several empty envelopes. But the winner this week happened to a buddy of mine who was unpleasantly surprised by a centerfold picture of the extremely explicit nature. Nothing says good morning like a steaming pile of porn.

Until later...

Tis the season to be getting ones Holiday err, Christmas cards. I work at a mail-order* company that specializes in Christmas cards this time of year. It sucks. We get extremely busy, the customers get extremely rude and they expect you to have their card in stock, even though you have been selling them since July, and this is the last week of November. For some reason people expect to be catered to, inspite of their shortcomings. I've been yelled at, called "interesting" things, hit on - by men and women, told I was stupid and generally treated like a Al-Queda operative who was also a pedophile. Of course, being a customer-centric environment, I have to be pleasant, polite and understanding...of course you should hear the things we say after you've gotten off of the phone with us. But I digress.

After doing this job for awhile I came to a realization, actually several of them: 1. People are just stupid. 2. People who own their own business are the stupidest of the bunch**. 3. People believe that just because you are on the phone with them, they can abuse you anyway they want.

So in regards to these stupid, or at least, mis-guided folks, I present a Christmas offering from the Wall of Shame, which is tacked to my cubicle wall to the great enjoyment of my fellow cube dwellers.

Let me set the stage...
Our Christmas card catalog is sent out to businesses, not individuals. As such, in deference to our PC overlords, we manage to leave out almost any mention of religiosity. So there are no cards proclaiming "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Hanuakkah" or a simple mention of religious root of the holiday. Mind you though, as one of options for personalizing the "Holiday" cards, there are verses that reflect a very Christian Christmas sentiment, even beyond that, you have room to add your own personal lines to the card at no cost.
So we get a piece of mail in which is just the order page of the catalog. Scrawled across in big black Sharpee scrict reads to following:

What!? You mean to tell me that in spite of having the verses, the custom option and several cards that are very, very nice and reflect a very Christmas sentiment the customer just had to send this to us. What was it supposed to do, make us feel bad? Change our marketing and design bureau to fit in with the precepts of the Christian Coalition? The fact is, it did nothing, except make us laugh, especially when I pointed out that the person had sent it in their own envelope, with postage. Why not just leave it alone? And more importantly, why didn't you stop to make sure you spelled everything correctly? So there it is, Christmas cards and stupid people, what more could you want to brighten your holidays?

Til' later...


*mail order includes faxes and many, many stupid people calling in to our 800#

**Now before I send the small business community into full-blown litigious mode, let me publish a caveat...they're not stupid, some are very very smart and being so, they don't order from us. I have come to the theory that the reason why some people own their own business is because they are too stupid to work for someone else.

Just read this on Portland Indymedia and was absolutely appalled. You can view the article here.

Previous to my self-imposed exile to Arizona, I lived in Portland, OR. At that time a small coffeshop in the town of Astoria on the Oregon Coast opened. Named "Sambuck's" after the owner, it drew the ire of the coffee baron that is Starbucks, who claimed copyright and image infringement. Mind you, the logo was nothing like Starbucks, nor would any self-repsecting person ever confuse the two. Sam Buck went to court to defend her right to name her business after herself against the corporate overlords, but in the decision handed down today, lost that fight. This stands as another erosion of our personal lives by those that control the world we live in. It also shows we have no recourse to defend our names against the corporate aggressors. All she wanted to do was make a living and some corporate thug had to destroy that.

So to sum it up, to hell with Starbucks, may their horrible over-priced coffee rot on the docks, their baristas walk away, their milk curdle and yuppies realize there are many other outlets to get an actual good cup of coffee in this world.

peace...

Came across a great article by Pete Townshend about hearing loss related to music. I, for one can really relate to this. I know that by the time I hit middle age, hearing loss is going to be a big problem for me. Having suffered many bouts of otitis media as a child and numerous other infections, my hearing is already characterized as damaged, especially in my right ear. Having not one, but two tympanoplasties along with other repairs probably didn't make things better.

So what did I do? Go to work in the airline business. There's really nothing like a 747 spooling up to taxi without ear protection first thing in the morning to clear your head. Something like 120dBs or so, bare ear to the world. In the article it mentioned that average volume of ear buds range 100+dB...which just makes me cringe. I can't imagine anymore putting my head through that anymore. Sure, I remember blasting the headphones to drown out the world and the rambling stinky guy sitting next to me on the bus, but I can't do it anymore, it hurts. I can't imagine losing the ability to hear music and sound. It makes sense why Beethoven went crazy in the end. His passion was taken from him in a very abrupt manner, while he could still compose and direct, he could no longer hear his compositions. But I digress. Read the article, your ear drums will thank you.

As for other stuff...

• Sony decides that it's ok to install software (the root kit fiasco) on your computer, and then the RIAA says they did nothing wrong. But leave to Texas of all places to lead the charge and file the first lawsuit against Sony for this transgression. What's next is for Congress to get in on this and mess it up for all of us...

• Yes! Only 4 days to Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving), that wonderful day of madness and consumer insanity perpetrated on us by the retail behemoths. For those of you who can't wait to see what is for sale, well you're already too late. I mean Gotta Deal's Black Friday site has been getting notortiety since the beginning of November, and Black Friday 2005 has already received at least 2 cease and desist letters. CHekc them out to make your list. Then go here to plan your attack on the stores. I go to watch little old ladies suplex each other over a $5 pair of pajamas. Myself, I plan on being at Wal-Mart in the hinterlands of Arizona, watching the Mormons and the in-breds fight over the deals. I may even pick up something nice for the wife...

Until later...

I've had the last 2 weeks off as a result of family issues, which are slowly resolving. In the last day or two though, whether by chance or luck, or a concindence of a greater power, I've stumbled across some good stuff once again.

• Good 'ol Pat Robertson is up to his tricks again, condeming a town for denying "intelligent design" by giving their school board the boot. The reality is that he doesn't want anyone to think for themselves or question the Book that he has based his life on. I do believe that there will be a special surprise for him when he departs this realm... (via Poplicks)

• Having spent a lot of time under a great deal of stress, Lifehacker posted up today a guide on how to meditate (from Discovery Health). I started to a while ago, but had fallen off and realized that I really need the time to get my head together and this article came at the right time. (via Lifehacker)

• Last, but not least, I found a great article dealing with Thanksgiving and vegatarians/vegans. As my wife and I are vegatarians (I'm what I term a "dysfunctional vegartarian*") I'm always on the look-out for helpful tips, tricks and recipies for feeding us and found this informative and inspiring. (via Lifehacker)

*dysfunctional vegatarian is someone who eats mostly meat-free, but does have in on occasion, kind of like falling off the wagon for a really horrible comparison.

Until later...

Lately life has been difficult, in more ways than one. There's too many personal things about this to describe in a public forum, but suffice to say that there was a death in the family that will forever effect my wife and me in a very deep and personal way. It wouldn't be fair or right to say more than that.

Yeah, right. Unfortunately, the madness has alreday begun. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of Christmas, I'm a son of Claus*, but it gets me every year when the retailers push back the launch date for Christmas shopping. In fact, I was at the mall 3 weeks ago, and Bath & Bodyworks already was decked for that special seaon, playing holiday songs as well! It makes me ill to see the commercialization of the holiday in this fashion.

I remember growing up that the stores would only start on the day after Thanksgiving for their wonderful promos. No longer. The earlier, the better is the new motto. Granted this is a very special time of year for retailers, they stand to make a lot of money, and with all the problems we've had this year, I understand why they're making the push early. But it still rubs me wrong.

The only good thing about this is that the sales are shaping up to be rather spectacular, or at least not-so-craptacular. Perusing the deals at Gotta Deal's Black Friday page, found some that even the sternest grinch would smile at. Even the all-mighty Wal-Mart is getting some great action including a $400 laptop, sure to bring the great unwashed masses out of the trailers to get on "that them-thar interweb with our new lap-top from the Wal-Mart." And I admit, I might even have to join them this year...

or, 10 Things I Hate About Flagstaff Drivers...

This is an example of pure disconnect to reality. I watched as the gentleman who drove this beast had to lift his wife and daughter out of the truck, or they would have had to mount a climbing expedition to do it themselves. The daughter, was not even as tall as the "tars" on this monstrosity. Some has referred to those that drive these as Elmer Fudd's, but I think a better word is in store, not very bright. I mean really, what do you need such a large and ungainly vehicle for? Hauling things? Off-Roading? Getting 3 gallons to the mile? Please. Point is, that in the world of Peak Oil, these things do nothing but drive the ever increasing reliance on foreign oil, thus leaving us open and vulnerable to influences by those controlling that oil and leading to a whole mess of problems in the realm of geopolitics and economics. But I digress...

I now look at living here as an exercise in surviving traffic, if we leave Flag-town without having an accident, I will be very suprised. Why, do you ask? It is very simple, the drivers here are horrible, I mean terrible. I've driven and walked in many great cities of our country and world and never have feared for my life more than I do here.
So here are 10 Things I Hate About Flagstaff Drivers: (in no particular order)

• never, ever drive at an appropriate speed; we go 40mph in a 25mph and 25mph in a 40mph, drive 75mph in a 55mph construction zone with no shoulder.
  
• we are in such a hurry (see speeding above), but it takes 5 minutes for the guy at the head of the line to realize that the light turned green, leaving the person 3 cars back dealing with yellow.
• believe that a yellow light means that at least 5 more cars can make it through the intersection, even if traffic on the other side is stopped, thus backing up into the intersection, blocking it for those with the now green light.
• when you stop ahead of an intersection so as not to block it, turn right in front of you, effectively cutting you off (and further blocking said intersection).
  
• come to a complete stop before making any turn, especially when turning into a driveway.
• follow so closely that you can't see the grill of the vehicle, merely the hood and maniacal driver inside.
  
• drive so fast that when you are sitting stopped at an intersection/light, you don't think they will stop, but instead plow into your back end.
• believe that pedestrians are targets and that it is ok to drive in front of or directly behind them in the crosswalk, nevermind that the pedestrian has the right-a-way, especially in a crosswalk, and has to clear the lane of traffic before you can go.
• believe that turn signals are really non-functional car ornaments and that there is really no use for them.
• learned to drive in CA, Phoenix, the Res or other area that breeds these bad habits, then bring them here to drive up anxiety, frustration and insurance rates.

Til' next time...

My wife and I just had our second ultrasound and I am just blown away by it all. Scared as hell, but excited. It is incredible to me how amazing the whole process is and that we can see it on ultrasound, watch him growing and seeing what he looks like while still in the womb. For so long we thought this would never happen and it finally did.

'>http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2005/POLITICS/06/11/dean.attacks.ap/story.dean.ap.jpg">
I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!

It's about time that someone in the Democratic party decided not to roll over for the GOP. Are Dean's remarks a bit abrasive? Yes. Are they a little impolite? Yes. And it's about time.

The Dems have been called everything from communists to pornographers and by inference religion-hating liberals, yet have never come back at the right wing blowhards, dittoheads and ideologues that have been heaping it on them for long enough. It's not like he told someone to "F*ck off!"

Finally someone has the balls to call the kettle black and ignites a shitstorm for it. The worst thing is that he's getting it as much from his own party as he is from the GOP. Most people believe that there really isn't much of a difference between Dems and Republicans and this proves it. While Dean may have his own agena directing his antics I'm all for it. This country has been blinded by the neocons and their servants in the GOP and it's about time someone who's visible and powerful started questioning the status quo presented by them.

That we drink milk. Not from our mothers but from cows, specially bred for and hopped up on hormones and antibiotics to produce mass quantities of the stuff. So this article published today, makes me laugh and go, "well, d'uh!"

You think that drinking milk is the healthy thing to do , but the research shows that kids who drink more than 2 glasses a day are more prone to be obese. They don't mention if that is the effect of the milk itself, or the latent hormones and other chemicals lurking inside the milk that is causing the effect.

Can't wait to see what the Dairy Farmers have to say about it!