Restive State

Thought it was about time to change from dark to light, so as to quote the Beastie Boys, "Dark is not the opposite of light, merely the abscence of Light."

Will be back soon with new stuff...just got back from the holidays so there's lots to do, only not enough time to do it.

'Til later...

That's right, finished. The last Final is in the bag, at least for this semester that is.

And here's how long I have left:


4 months...4 weeks

That's right, not long at all, May 12th will be a great day indeed.

But we were sitting at breakfast the other morning studying for our Maternal and Pediatrics final and I had a total flashback to earlier in the semester. As nursing students, nothing really seems to phase us when it comes to bodily functions and secretions, although everyone has their own secret weakness, like Kryptonite. One of my friends handles diarrhea with aplomb, but can't deal with lung butter (i.e. mucus), others have difficulties with vomit, the list goes on. Now many have said it before, and I'll reiterate it, far too often we classify drainage/secretions in terms of food. Nowhere is this more true that in the realm of STDs. While this wholesome topic is unsettling for some, when you combine it with colorful descriptions, people kind of start to lose their appetite.

Here we were sitting at a big table in the middle of the dining room of and establishment here in town adn of course we are going over signs and symptoms of various STDs. So yes, this is in public, in earshot, and did I mention that it was during the breakfst rush?

C: OK, now is that gray, frothy and fish? Or white cottage-cheese like drainage?
T: Naw, that's the one that is green with pain when you pee.
C: Right, so which one has the bumps?
T: Warts...you know, "French tickler? Hell no girl, thems warts..."

The converastion lasted in this vein for quite sometie, as it is really quite amazing the critters, bugs and general nastiness that you can get when looking for love in all the wrong places. Monday, I added that little conversation to the list of "things I'm going to miss about nursing school." You never really forget those days, even if you want to.

Oh yeah, found these 2 tidbits of pan-politcal shenanigans for all you last minute Christmas shoppers out there.

Stratego for Democrats
Gifts for Young Conservatives

via allnurses.com

Enjoy...'til later...

The wife and I went out to find our Christmas Tree today. Yeah, I know, stupid move. As I have come to learn living in a small mountain town, if you don't go early, don't count on getting the selection you thought you should get. But being infected with a bit of holiday cheer and a sense of community we decided to give a local nursery a try in selecting our tree. Having driven past the previous night, we saw that they had a decent selection with prices to match.
As we pulled into the lot this afternoon however, our disappointment began to grow. Either the selection had magically disappeared overnight, or we had been mistaken. After walking around, being shocked by the prices and not at all pleased about the trees themselves (which looked like they had been cut weeks ago and were being kept alive by the barest of measures), we left. We said, "It's ok, maybe it's like this everywhere." Not a chance.

Next stop, Home Depot. Their trees were even more dismal, many of them still wrapped up from transport. And their prices, while better were still a ways from where we wanted to be, especially when you considered the state and quality of the trees. After wracking our brains, we realized our only hope on the rapidly darkening evening was Wal-Mart.

Yes, the leveler of small local businesses, the scourge of low prices and just about the only place still open that might carry trees. So we went in to see. And there it was, the only thing lacking from the moment was an angelic choir and a light shining from the heavens when my wife exclaimed, "That's it, that's the one!" So we took it home, decorated it and captured the moment on film. Of course, being a town full of moron and jerks, while my wife was waiting with the tree in hand for me to pull the car around, some jerk-off pulled up right in front of her, blocking easy access to the car, when there was plenty of extra room just 10 feet down the curb for him to move. But like I said, it's life in a small town.

I think the moral of the story today is thus: even when infected with holiday sheer and good intentions of supporting locally owned business, unless you get there first, you're out of luck. But yes, had we found a tree that we liked at the local place we would not have bought it, y'know why? Because it was $15 more than either Home Depot or Wal-Mart. That's dinner money right there...

Until later...The ride home was fun though!

That's what it looked like this morning. Tuesday on my way to clinicals is was 8 degrees outside, before wind-chill. Now we're not as cold as Denver (clocking in at -15 today), but this is Arizona. But at least there's no snow...yet.

An update to stupid people...
The day after I wrote about stupid people and mail order, I found more fodder to illustrate the inanity of people in our world.
With all of our mailers come envelopes that postage is paid by the company. You don;t have to spend a dime to send us anything. But what really freaks me out is what people will send back in those envelopes besides their orders. In the last week, I have received coupons from Washington DC, coupons from JC Penny, a brochure for a credit card and several empty envelopes. But the winner this week happened to a buddy of mine who was unpleasantly surprised by a centerfold picture of the extremely explicit nature. Nothing says good morning like a steaming pile of porn.

Until later...

Tis the season to be getting ones Holiday err, Christmas cards. I work at a mail-order* company that specializes in Christmas cards this time of year. It sucks. We get extremely busy, the customers get extremely rude and they expect you to have their card in stock, even though you have been selling them since July, and this is the last week of November. For some reason people expect to be catered to, inspite of their shortcomings. I've been yelled at, called "interesting" things, hit on - by men and women, told I was stupid and generally treated like a Al-Queda operative who was also a pedophile. Of course, being a customer-centric environment, I have to be pleasant, polite and understanding...of course you should hear the things we say after you've gotten off of the phone with us. But I digress.

After doing this job for awhile I came to a realization, actually several of them: 1. People are just stupid. 2. People who own their own business are the stupidest of the bunch**. 3. People believe that just because you are on the phone with them, they can abuse you anyway they want.

So in regards to these stupid, or at least, mis-guided folks, I present a Christmas offering from the Wall of Shame, which is tacked to my cubicle wall to the great enjoyment of my fellow cube dwellers.

Let me set the stage...
Our Christmas card catalog is sent out to businesses, not individuals. As such, in deference to our PC overlords, we manage to leave out almost any mention of religiosity. So there are no cards proclaiming "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Hanuakkah" or a simple mention of religious root of the holiday. Mind you though, as one of options for personalizing the "Holiday" cards, there are verses that reflect a very Christian Christmas sentiment, even beyond that, you have room to add your own personal lines to the card at no cost.
So we get a piece of mail in which is just the order page of the catalog. Scrawled across in big black Sharpee scrict reads to following: